Today I had a conversation with one of my best friends. We’ve know each other since preschool. A few states seperate us and so we don’t get to see one another nearly as much as I’d like. However I always appreciate a phone call and update! “So how are you and the boys? You always seem to have it all together.” I was stunned by this comment and didn’t know what to say. Wait, what? As I reflected on this I thought about what can be known as a ‘highlights reel’. Sure we keep up with one another via social media and occasional photos/ text sharing of stories of our boys. (I post exactly for that purpose, to share with all of my friends and family especially those out of state!) Am I only providing just the highlights in my photos and posts?
So, as I am reflecting, I’d like to be sure to let anyone know that no, I don’t have it all together. I mean really, aren’t we all just desperately trying to get by? Us moms of babies and/or toddlers have this steep learning curve. As soon as we might think we have things figured out, boom, a new stage. Or a new baby. Or 2 year old’s attitude hits an all time high. Or “Mommy, I cut DD’s hair.”
Instead of inaccurately portaying my highlights on most days, I’d like to be sure to give some accurate insight into #reallifewith2
My husband is really getting into his busy season with work which will last through November (help!). Most nights it’s just going to be me and the boys until after their bedtime, unless of course I am on the road for work. Some nights things get hilarious. Or crazy. This evening for example, Deacon is screaming, crying in the bathroom because he wants to play in the sink while I’m in the kitchen cleaning out Hunter’s potty because he’s potty trained but still likes to bring me his bowl of poo (to admire!?) while I’m peacefully eating my spaghetti dinner for 1 minute. Then they chase eachother around in diapers/undies as I attempt to dress them in matching pajamas meanwhile pretzels are all over the living room floor.
Friends, do your kids get into your makeup while you are vacuuming? Do they sit on their baby sibling? Throw their dinner on the floor, jump on your bed, hoard markers and draw on the craft you made them? Does your 1 year old obsess over climbing in the dishwasher and pulling out the knives? Are you ever embarassed at daycare because Lord knows what they did/said that day?
There are times where a fly on the wall might think, “Aren’t you going to do something about that?” and I just let it happen because they aren’t staining anything, hurting eachother or breaking stuff. And I’m hungry and tired and exhausted.
Some days, I walk in our house after a long day and enjoy the freshly cleaned house and smell yummy dinner in the crock pot. I really admire the vacuum stripes in the carpet and the clean toilets. I really appreciate our cleaning lady. Her name is Kim. Yes, that’s right. It’s me. I will occasionally come home on my lunch hour and surge for 40 minutes, practically running to empty the dishwasher, vacuum, throw dinner in the wash, clothes in the crock pot (or vice versa), clean the toilet bowls, take out trash, pick up toys, whatever I can possibly do. Those 40 minutes are so much more productive than I could ever accomplish with 2 hurricanes (toddler boys) behind my back. And I like to pretend the nice cleaning lady came and spent hours cleaning our house. Call me crazy, it’s ok.
So, thanks for the insight and help, Dana. I appreciate you observing that I have it all together but rest assured, my boys are one shit storm after the next, I have no answers and my only advice, which I am still learning myself, is to just enjoy it for what it is. Try to laugh at it. Some days are easier than others. One day we are going to miss when they are this little. And cute. Sometimes.
Most importantly, I wouldn’t have it any other way.