I just read recently that we have 60,000 – 70,000 thoughts a day and many of those thoughts we have over and over again, every day. Many of the same thoughts day in and day out! Now while I think about that real quick, sure I can spit off 100 things that I know I think over and over every single day, easy.
God I love them so much.
Where are their shoes?
I need coffee.
Start the car.
Am I looking older?
Go to the bathroom.
Wyatt’s feet are seriously the cutest thing I have ever seen.
Ask boys to feed dogs.
When is my next work meeting?
Saving this for my memoir.
Breathe in and smell their heads when kissing them. ♥️
Ugh. The laundry.
These same thoughts= every. single. day.
And so forth. But 60,000 thoughts! Wow. That is a lot of survival mode stuff (cold, hungry, bathroom, walk, etc.) but it is also a lot of self talk. Self talk can includes things like feelings, opinions, emotions, observations and motivation. It can specifically look like pride (I look nice today) or guilt (I didn’t remember to do that thing.) It can be a helpful thought (Order groceries to pick up after work) or harmful (She is ignoring me because I did X.)
Now, how do we make certain that our thought and self talk is positive and helpful? Or how to at least have more than half of our daily thoughts positive, productive ones? Easier said than done. This part is hard. It actually includes changing the neural pathways of our brain if we are inclined to think negatively. Of course I am not a psychologist or therapist or mental health expert by any means. I am just speaking from experience here and some things I have picked up on my journey.
And when you go through a hard time, a crisis, a life altering event, a sickness, health scare or unrest- when you are really at your lowest- it may take time and effort to change your thoughts from negative to positive. Maybe its post partum depression or you are experiencing loss, a family member or friend is sick or passed away. Maybe you feel unappreciated and undervalued or have a hard time finding success at work or even at home. Perhaps you feel guilt or shame or overburdened or overwhelmed. You may be battling a disease or addiction and feel like noone you know will ever understand you. You feel lonely, afraid, negative and doubtful. You actually have to go against the grain. Do the opposite of what your brain is telling you to do. My brain actually tries to go down one path and I actively have to choose another. This is hard, almost impossible and takes long, hard work.
I am not here to tell you I have all of the answers. I wish I did. I know it helps to talk to others about it. (Again, easier said than done. Maybe I should remember to do this!) But, there are 3 small things that I try to remind myself every day (self talk) to help get me through hard times and also just the ordinary day to day.
1. We are all fighting a tough battle (that most know nothing about). I am not alone.
2. Smile and help others. This is the best way to change negative self talk. Put my stuff aside and help others.
3. I am growing in the process. Every day that I ignore the bad, negative stuff, the more progress I make.
Pay others compliments to help them change their negative self talk. Do it often! Write down reasons to be thankful. And during the hardest times, remember to be kind to yourself. Be forgiving. And if you can, talk it out.
That’s all I got. No expert here. Just something that is on my mind. One of my 60,000 thoughts today. Pass it along. Try to smile. Pray. & Thank you for reading.