As I began writing this blog post in my head, the title was “Overhwhelmed”. Today is just one of those days. I am intentionally changing my perspective.
I slept in a bit longer that I would like leaving less time to spend with Hunter before I left this morning. I woke him up at 7:30 with just 10 minutes to spend together before I headed out the door for work. Bad mommy. I picked him up and he was wet, his diaper leaked! We tried out BumGenius diapers for the first time and obviosuly Mommy did something wrong, either it wasn’t tight enough or I didn’t put the pad in correctly. I felt so terrible that he was sleeping in a leaked diaper. So I quickly wiped him down, put on fresh clothes and diaper and began feeding him his bottle before handing him off to Daddy.
So, maybe that is why I cried the whole way to work this morning. I never did that before, even when I first started back from maternity leave. I felt the need to tell my co-workers (the girls that sit close to me) because my face was a bit obvious. I am grateful for one lady in particular who is always so warm and comforting and has a strong sense of faith. She knows that he is ok and that Mommys have days like that.
We had a meeting at work learning about one of our author’s latest books, High Reliability Schools. I became overwhelmed learning about the new initiative, challenges with the school systems today and I began thinking “Do I remember algebra well enough to help my son with school?” “How do I teach him to be strong, make friends, study and do your homework, respect your teachers…”. I was clearly overwhelming myself but at least I wasn’t the only parent in the room of my co-workers who felt the same way.
It is inevitable that I will forget to pack one of the 19 pieces necessary to pump at work every once in a while and so today was one of those days. I forgot the flanges and connectors and had to go home for lunch- which is completely fine. I don’t get mad when I forget a piece because I know I have a back up plan- go home. Of course, all 19 pieces are all completely necessary but they are all important. The flanges and connectors I cannot do without.
Driving home for lunch, I was listening to Moody radio talking about bringing up your child in a broken household and still raising them in the church and also the impacts of poverty and learning- wow really overwhelming. This discussion and High Reliability Schools reminds me of the donations they are taking at church for school supplies and how I have dropped off things four times already. It breaks my heart thinking there are kids, our neighbors, that need school supplies and can’t afford them.
My husband always knows that I begin to fret right before I travel. My first travel (two nights away from my baby) begins this weekend. I blame this for being all over the place and so emotional today.
I am grateful for my son and the life lessons we will get to teach him. I am grateful that we have a son. I am grateful for the support of friends and family. I am grateful for the opportunity Josh and I have to help and support our community. I am grateful for my job and the opportunity to travel. I will be ever so grateful to get home.
(FYI)19 pieces include-
1 ice pack
1 electric cord
1 tube of lanolin
1 baby photo 🙂